Love is an action.
I once heard a story about an older pastor and his wife that were doing marriage counseling with a young couple. The couple shared a couch and they were seated so close together that you couldn’t slide a piece of paper between them. Meanwhile the pastor and his wife traded loving glances from across the room.
So which couple was more in love?
Something amazing happens when you are in a vibrant and thriving marriage. You tend to grow closer together and you show it in different ways than you did when you first fall in love.
Love changes from a noun that you fell into to a verb that you do.
Bob and Kiddie
Bob and Kiddie met when they were just twelve year old kids. The year was 1932. Her name was Elaine, but he said she looked like a little kid and so the name Kiddie stuck. They grew up together in church. They were married in 1944 and he served in the Navy in the Pacific.
They were married for almost sixty-five years until he passed away. In fact, his funeral was the day of their sixty-fifth wedding anniversary.
I had the honor of officiating over the funeral. Bob was my grandfather.
Put each other first
If there is one couple that taught my wife and I how to love one another as husband and wife, it was my grandparents.
They always exhibited a tenderness and selflessness with one another. They truly made love an action. No matter what, she was first for him and he was first for her.
The word soul-mate gets tossed around casually, but these two were truly made by God for one another.
Get rid of selfishness
In any relationship, but especially in a marriage, there is no room for selfishness. Perhaps you are thinking about getting married or you are married. It is a daily battle sometimes to put aside your own interests and instead look to the best interests of your spouse.
It doesn’t necessarily come naturally, but it is vital to the success of a marriage.
“I” is less than “We”
When you get married you no longer are two individuals; the bible says you are “one flesh.” To get a picture of what that looks like imagine two colors of PlayDoh. If you were to mix them together you would still see the individual hints of the color woven throughout the mix, but it would be impossible to go back and separate them.
This is how your marriage is.
What is cool about this, though, is that together you make a wholly new and beautiful entity.
Even better than that is that you are stronger as a couple than you are individually.
If this is the case, then in marriage you either both win or both lose. It can’t be a competition between the two of you. When you fight for what you want as an individual, you weaken what you can accomplish together.
“I” is always less powerful than “We.”
When you join your lives and your wills together you create a bond that is stronger than either of you could be individually. You will accomplish more that is worthwhile and a develop a legacy that will last for generations.
Take a bold stand
So how is your marriage relationship?
Is there something in it that needs to be changed? Perhaps you have been putting what you want before what she wants. Maybe your dreams are dwarfing his dreams.
Take a bold stand now.
Decide to communicate today with one another about the status of your relationship. Make a point of dying to self each day and putting your bride or groom first.
Take care of the precious gift that is your marriage. You want to be the type of couple that still lights up from across the room when your spouse enters it.
You want to be the type of couple that is strong and holds fast through the ups and downs of life and is devoted to the good of one another.
This type of couple is what the world sorely needs and is a force to be reckoned with. This type of couple changes the world. This type of couple raises godly children grounded in their faith and intent on changing their world.
This type of couple knows that love is a verb and it requires action.
They realize that I is always less than We.